Hey, wanna know what it's like to live in Greece?
Scenario: I am informed that the letter I have from my health insurance company is insufficient for the Greek Ministry of Culture, who are the ones in charge of issuing my residence permit.
Step 1: Call the number listed on Health Insurance Company's (HIC) website. Once you finally get through to someone, explain that you can't give them a callback number because you're in Greece and on Skype. Read every. single. stipulation that must be on the letter that they are to craft (not a simple form letter, but a very, very specific letter that outlines every minute detail of my coverage). Get to the end, and be told that your deductible is $50 higher than what the Greeks allow. Be told that you can switch to a conversion plan, whatever the f that is, and you are given another number to call.
Time: 22 minutes
Step 2: Call the number regarding the conversion plan. After giving all of your personal information (name, SSN, DOB), be asked if your name is Sharon (uhhh...). Be told that you can't do a conversion plan until August 2013, which is no good because I need to apply for the residence permit now. Also be told that you need to speak to someone related to your school's HIC's plan specifically, and be given a third number.
Time: 8 minutes
Step 3: Call that third number. Once you finally get through to someone, explain that you can't give
them a callback number because you're in Greece and on Skype. They insist on some kind of number, so you give them your mother's cell phone number (and if they have to call her "back," she can't call you for the next 6 hours because she can't use Skype from her office). Be told, Hey! We can't do anything to change your $250 deductible to $200 or less, but we can tell you that if you get a referral from the Student Health Center, the deductible is only $75 per incident. Insist that the letter you need cannot include per incident, but must be per year. Have it suggested to you that perhaps you can cancel your current plan and enroll in a conversion plan, and by the way here's that conversion plan number AGAIN.
Time: 19 minutes
Step 4: Call the conversion plan number. Finally talk to someone who understands what you're talking about. But, you're told that any plan you "convert" to will have a deductible higher than $250, not lower than, and therefore there's no point in converting. Be told that you should call the...second?...number once again, and/or your university itself.
Time: 21 minutes
Step 5: Decide to call your university Registrar, who is in charge of student health insurance and coordinating with your HIC. Get her phone number from the university's website. Call the number, only to find that "due to the high volume of calls, it's best you leave a voice mail message with a number I can reach you at." Of course, you don't have a number you can be reached at, because your only number is a Greek cell phone, and who at your uber-rich university is gonna want to call that? So you dig around for this woman's email and email her, asking what a good time for you to call on Skype would be. An hour later, you get a response that she's not actually with the Registrar anymore - as is listed on the website - but she's instead with the Registrar at the BUSINESS SCHOOL, and would you please email x or y instead?
Time: 10 minutes
Step 6: Explode from trying to work your way through a freakin' $50 difference in deductible. I offered to more than one person to pay the difference myself. I pointed out the ridiculousness of offering health insurance to non-university spouses and children, but not offering me, a lowly graduate student on $20,000 per year (actually half that this year), OPTIONS for my shit health care. I will pay you $50 for you to just state on a letter than my deductible is $200 rather than $250.
Step 7: Decide to blog about the whole ordeal, rather than yell at another person at your HIC.
Time: 20 minutes of attempting to calm yourself down through words.
To be continued tomorrow. I am sure.